Effective Communication: Workplace Harassment to Promotion

In the challenging world of workplace dynamics, facing harassment over freedom of speech can be a daunting experience. This was the case for Alicia, a talented designer passionate about her job, yet struggling with a conflict that threatened her career. Let’s dive into her story to explore how she resolved her workplace conflict and proved her worth to secure a promotion. Her story is not just one of overcoming workplace harassment but also about empowerment and professional growth.

Before we dive into Alicia’s story, let’s examine the extent workplace harassment, workplace disputes, and workplace conflicts in the corporate world.

Workplace Harassment Statistics, Trends, Impact, and Cost Analysis

Here are some troubling trends regarding workplace harassment, conflicts, and challenges that professional women in STEM face:

1. Over half (52%) of employees have experienced or witnessed inappropriate, unethical, or illegal behaviors at work. The most common types of such behaviors include bullying (51%), sexual harassment (40%), and racism (30%). Source.

2. Approximately 44% of employees continue to face harassment at work, but only about 1% confront their harassers. Source.

3. A substantial number of women, 54% to 81%, report experiencing some form of sexual harassment in the workplace. Notably, 58% to 72% of these victims do not report these incidents. Source.

Focusing on women in STEM, the statistics are as follows:

1. Nearly two-thirds (61%) of women STEM professionals reported experiencing workplace sexual harassment, and more than three-quarters (78%) have been victims of gender bias, according to the ITIC survey. Source.

2. A study by Georgia State University found that women majoring in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) fields experience higher rates of sexual violence compared to their non-STEM counterparts. Source.

3. According to a study conducted by the US National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine (NAS), around 50% of women in STEM academia have faced some form of harassment. This was confirmed by large-scale surveys conducted across 36 American university campuses. Source.

The impact on companies is significant. These figures highlight how workplace conflicts affect employee productivity and well-being, along with the broader health of organizations, imposing financial burdens on employers. Here are the statistics highlighting the impact on businesses:

1. In U.S. companies, employees spend about 2.8 hours each week involved in conflicts. This amounts to approximately $359 billion in paid hours that are consumed by conflict rather than productive work. Source.

2. Stress is identified as a significant cause of workplace conflict, with 38% of women and 32% of men citing it as a primary reason for workplace disputes. Additionally, 29% of respondents attribute workplace conflict to dysfunctional leadership and a lack of open communication by managers. Source.

3. Financially, studies estimate that workplace harassment related issues costs businesses $2.6 billion in lost productivity and an additional $0.9 billion in other expenses. These include legal fees, employee turnover, increased absences, and the time managers spend addressing harassment complaints. Proactively addressing workplace harassment can help organizations reduce these costs and foster a more productive and peaceful work environment. Source.

Alicia’s Workplace Conflict: Freedom of Speech

Alicia is a passionate designer and absolutely loves her job. She is also passionate about global affairs and often expresses her views on her personal social media accounts. Alicia approached me after a distressing encounter with her employer. She was asked to remove a Facebook post on her personal page about stopping genocide in Palestine. The situation escalated when her employer also demanded that Alicia's friends remove similar posts. This infringement on freedom of speech and personal beliefs is a growing concern in many professional environments, especially in light of current political events.

Mastering Conflict Resolution and Resolving Workplace Disputes

As a professional coach specializing in conflict resolution and effective communication, I guided Alicia through a 5-step strategy over three weeks. This approach not only addressed and resolved her workplace issue but also did so amicably, paving the way for her career success. I'll share these steps as applied by Alicia in her situation.

1. Build Rapport: Alicia started by inviting her boss for a coffee, her treat, creating a relaxed environment. Alicia started with a casual conversation and light chit-chat about personal topics like family and the upcoming holiday. This put her boss at ease and lowered his defenses. Often, when people enter a discussion in a defensive mode, anticipating a contentious exchange, they tend to reflexively counter and disagree with any point made. This reaction is part of our brain's protective response. In situations where we perceive a threat, we instinctively guard our beliefs and are less receptive to differing viewpoints. This phenomenon is known as Cognitive Dissonance. If you’d like to learn how to overcome cognitive dissonance in workplace disputes, feel free to explore our blog titled "10 Steps to Overcome Cognitive Dissonance in Workplace Conflict."

2. Address the Issue: She then brought up the matter saying, “so I understand that you want me to remove my Facebook post about stopping genocide in Palestine. Can you please tell me more about this?” Notice how Alicia phrased this. By using the words “understand”, “please”, and asking a curious question, she helped foster open and honest communication.

   Now, if you’re not comfortable abruptly approaching the topic, you may gently and gradually bring up the issue traversing the conversation strategically from one topic to another until it connects to the issue you want to discuss. This approach is not necessary, but if it makes you feel safe, go for it.

3. Listen for Insecurity: When gearing up for such a dialogue, it's crucial to anticipate potential replies so that you can stay composed and unflustered during the conversation. Accordingly, Alicia thoughtfully considered various reasons her boss might have for objecting to her posts about Palestine. She correctly predicted his concern about her post fostering anti-Israeli sentiment and escalating anti-Semitism. Being Jewish Israeili himself, he perceived Alicia’s post as a personal attack on him, and defended his position by saying “Jews deserve the right to their land”.

   In any conflict, when listening to the other party's concerns, maintaining an open and receptive body language is essential to resolving the conflict amicably. Nod in agreement, utter acknowledging sounds like "hm", avoid negative gestures like eye-rolling or sighing, and focus on truly understanding their perspective. This step is often challenging. It's common to feel agitated and silently criticize our colleagues internally. To combat these negative internal dialogues such as "That's so foolish" or "This is absurd," try reframing it as "It seems he's really struggling with this."

   At Defense Ninjas, a key part of our training for professional women involves mastering this skill of positive reframing, context alteration, and goal-oriented thinking. Developing this skill into a natural response can take months, as it's about building a new kind of muscle memory.

4. Find Common Ground: Alicia empathized by saying “I understand your concerns…” and rephrased his key concern so that he felt heard “…about spreading hatred towards minorities”, and finally spoke to elaborate that there’s a common ground here, “…I believe every minority, Jews and Palestinians alike, deserves a safe space”.

   By skillfully incorporating some of the elements of deescalation that FBI agents use in Crisis Negotiation, (humorously referred to as MORE PIES), she was successfully able to help her boss see that their concerns were aligned. They both shared the common goal of advocating against violence towards civilians, especially minorities who have historically suffered oppression at the hands of a government.

5. Propose a Mutually Beneficial Solution: After an extensive discussion, which we have distilled into a few key strategies here, Alicia found the right moment to propose a resolution. This “right time” occurs when the person you’re conversing with shows a contemplative body language and when the conversation naturally comes to a brief pause. Reading body language, or rather correctly deciphering what the body is saying, is an intricate skill. There are numerous programs designed to teach it. At Defense Ninjas, such training spans from 2-6 weeks. For executive coaching and leadership training, this can be as long as 12-16 weeks.

   Alicia said, and I’m heavily paraphrasing here, “What if I add a disclaimer to my post, clarifying that I advocate for peace for both both Jews and Palestinians and condemn all hate crimes? This way, I can make it clear that my support for Palestine does not equate to contempt for Jews or their claim to their land. Would this approach alleviate your concerns?”

   In this manner, Alicia hoped to continue advocating for her cause, while also thoughtfully acknowledging and addressing her boss's fears.

The Outcome: Promotion

Alicia’s strategy proved to be successful. Her boss was impressed with her tactful approach and diplomatic handling of the situation. This led to a resolution of the issue and Alicia's remarkable promotion within just three weeks. This success story highlights the effectiveness of empathetic communication in resolving workplace conflicts.

Remember, every workplace conflict is an opportunity for growth and empowerment. Effective communication isn’t just about resolving disputes; it's a tool for advancing your career and strengthening your professional reputation. Alicia's journey serves as a powerful testament to the impact strategic communication can have on your career trajectory.

With employment and labor disputes becoming increasingly prominent, it is crucial to develop strategies to resolve disputes, and leverage the opportunity to boost our professional growth and mental health. In a recent survey, nearly half of the respondents reported heightened exposure to such disputes in 2022, a trend expected to persist in 2023, and even increase henceforth. Source. Therefore, it's not just essential for employees to build the necessary skills to navigate these challenges, but it's equally important for employers to actively provide and encourage training for their staff in this area.

Now, the opportunity is yours to stand up, speak for yourself, and resolve your work conflict. Are you experiencing similar challenges at your job, especially around freedom of speech or ongoing political debates? Are you searching for effective ways to navigate and resolve conflicts with your coworkers? Let's craft a personalized strategy that empowers you to assert yourself with confidence and charisma, and resolves your unique workplace challenges. Book your complimentary coaching session HERE.

To your success,
Coach Fauzia
2x Blackbelt, Empowerment Psychology Expert, Certified in ESI, DEI, NLP, and more. Connect with me on TikTok or Instagram.